Masjid Al-Taqwa - Lesson 66: Rightfulness of living in non-Muslim countries- Being undutiful to parents- objectivity
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In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful
The Islamic system has positive sides realized when missed:
A dear brother is asking, "Is it permissible for the Muslim to immigrate and live in a non-Muslim country for good, especially for Syrians?" Actually, the Prophet PBUH said in Sahih Hadith:
((Whoever mingles with the Mushrikeen (polytheists) will be breaching the covenant. ))
This Hadith refers to living there for good. In fact, the western countries are real paradises on earth due to all the amazing available matters there and high quality services they have. However, this comes with a price, and the price is your children over whom you have no control there. All the children of the person who built the first Masjid in São Paulo converted to Christianity. The fact of matters is that when you lose your children you gain nothing. When a child is raised in a non-Muslim environment, he/she will pick up their customs, traditions and immortality.
I have been once to Australia, and when the head of the Muslim community gave me a lift to the airport, he said to me, "Tell our brothers in Syria that the garbage containers of Syria are better than the gardens of Australia". Although Australia is one of the most beautiful continents, and it has only 18 million people. The facilities there are unbelievable, and the fruits are tasty, because of the virgin soil, while our soil has been used for planting for thousands of years. That person added, "There is 50/50 chance that your child will turn out to be atheist or homosexual, and if you do not believe me ask around."
I spent in Australia one month and a half two years ago, and all marriage problems I was consulted about were because the wife's salary is equal to the income of the husband, given the government gives the wife a salary, just because they are Australian citizens. The wives are given this salary in order to lead their lives with dignity, and so most of the wives are harsh on their husbands; they are financially independent.
Only then, I realized the importance of having the upper hand as a husband at your home. The domestic problems are unimaginable there. In one of the cases, the wife filed a lawsuit against her husband, so the judge gave her the house which was originally bought by the husband, who spent half of his life paying its mortgage. Furthermore, when that husband became homeless, the judge gave him the garage. While living in the garage, the husband saw a strange man living in his house with his ex-wife, so he used his tractor to destroy the house.
There are so many positive matters in the Islamic system that we do not recognize until we miss them. The Prophet PBUH used to say:
(( O Allah let us know Your graces while we have them not when we miss them.
))
Dear brothers, most of Muslim doctors live in Detroit. One hundred of them came to Damascus to attend a medical conference, so I gave a speech in which I said, "I heard a scholar once said, 'If you do not guarantee that the grandson of your son is Muslim while living in a country abroad, you should not stay in it'." After I finished my speech, one of those doctors approached me and said, "My own son is Christian, not the grandson of my son."
In Detroit, a man was very worried about his daughter who did not come home. One week later, he received an email from her in which she told him that she was in love with a Jewish person, and that she moved with him to Texas. The father drove all the way to Texas and it took him two days to be there. He managed to get some valium pills, so upon welcoming him, he put one pill in her tea cup and spent the night at her house, so when she was asleep, he put her in the car and drove back home. When she woke up in the car, she asked him to stop at a rest area where she wrote by her lipstick on the mirror: "I have been kidnapped by my father", and she wrote his car's number. A barricade stopped him, took his daughter and asked him to continue driving alone.
I heard a hundred of stories just like this. Once, I was asked by someone to compare between their countries and ours, and I said to him, "Over there they say to you, tell us what suits you, so we can serve you, while in our countries they say to you, tell us where it hurts, so we can bite you", yet with all the negatives in our countries, they are paradise comparing to the western countries, simply because you have no control over your children there, and if you bother your son, he will call the police who will ask you to sign a written pledge that you will not interfere in his life again.
While I was in America, a man entered his daughter's bedroom and found a strange man with her. After he scolded her, she called the police who asked him for a written pledge. Well, there is a rest to this story; this man convinced his daughter and her boyfriend to come back with him to his home country where he bought a farm with a swimming pool. When they arrived at the airport, he hit her and did what he could not do in the western country.
If a father punishes his son, the neighbor will call the police. The western countries take the side of the children, and they teach them to call a certain number, and the police will come at once.
He who loses his children loses everything:
In fact, everything in the western countries is beyond perfect, the shopping malls, the facilities and everything else. I used to say that if there is a paradise on earth, then it is in the western countries. However, it is paradise to the eye, because t if you look at it by the reason you have in your brain, you will find out that it is Hellfire.
Everything there is beautiful, such as their roads and their green lawns. When I travelled once from LA to a resort that is 120 kilometers away, I did not see one yellow spot, and all the grass was green. If you miss a spot on your lawn, the government will fix it and will fee you 10 folds. Their states are green everywhere. Moreover, they use white carpet in the kitchen though there is a possibility to spill something on it. They use it to live the elegant lifestyle. Furthermore, they serve the watermelon as red balls at the same size, and this but reflects the luxurious life they lead. Despite all this luxury, it is paradise only on the retina, but by using your mind, you find out that it is Hellfire.
You do not have control over your child at all. So many stories you hear there, and everyone has his own dilemma. Only 3 or 5 % might have well raised children, because they did their best by sending their children to home countries in order to learn Quran and Islam, but the rest, who did not put the needed efforts, lose their children and their loyalty to their home countries and to Islam.
As I mentioned before, the head of the Muslim community in Australia said, "Tell our brothers in Syria that the garbage containers are better than the gardens of Australia" and upon asking him to elaborate he said, "The chance that your child turn out to be atheist or homosexual is 50/50".
I went once to San Francisco and was told that the price of the house there is $ 500.000, which is ten times more than the price of a house in LA, but why? It is because San Francisco is the capital of homosexuality. I did not see one child there. They have same-sex couples, so how come there will be children! We live in a paradise that we do not appreciate; you know who your daughter and son are.
I would like to tell you three stories.
The first story is about a well-off man who I believe is a believer. He wanted to build a Masjid in one of Damascus neighborhoods. He looked for a land and found a suitable one which was inherited by a poor man.
The man who wanted to build the Masjid negotiated the price with him, and the latter accepted to take 4 million Liras. They wrote a check for 2 million and the charitable man said to him, "You will receive the rest of the money when I get the license from the Ministry of Endowments." The poor man asked, "Why should I go there?" The benevolent man answered, "Because we want to build a Masjid on the land." The poor man said, "Give me the check." He took it, tore it into pieces and said, "How can I sell a land where a Masjid will be built? I have the right more than you to offer it for the Sake of Allah." This Masjid has been built with the longest Minerat (Mi'zanah) in Al-Qadam. Though the owner of the land was poor, he had 8 children and that land was the only thing he owned, he donated it for the Sake of Allah.
The second story is about an Imam of a Masjid who used to live in London, but he moved later on to live in another city, so he had to go to his Masjid by bus. He took the same bus which was driven by the same bus driver every day. One day the Imam gave the driver a bill of twenty pounds, and the driver gave him the change. When the Imam counted the money, he found out that there were twenty pennies more, so he said to himself, "I will give this money back to the driver before I get out of the bus." However, a while later, an evil thought occurred to him, so he said to himself, "The Company of this bus is a well-known one, and its returns are very huge. This money will do no harm to it if taken. I need it badly, so I will take it."
What happened later was that when he was about to leave the bus, he put his hand in his pocket, and subconsciously he gave the extra twenty pennies to the driver, so the latter smiled and said, "Are you the Imam of this Masjid?" The Imam answered, "Yes, I am." Then the driver said, "By Allah, I was thinking about visiting you in the Masjid to worship Allah, but I wanted to test you before I come." The man passed out, because he realized the grave mistake he was about to commit. When he recovered from his shock, he said, "O Allah, I was almost about to sell the entire Islam for twenty pennies."
The third story took place in the United States. A young man fell in love with a young woman, but his father told him, "O son, you cannot marry this girl, because she is your sister, and your mother does not know that." He fell in love once again with another girl, but his father told him the same thing. He fell in love for the third time with another girl, but his father told him that she was also his sister. The young man was disappointed, so he told his mother about the whole thing. She said, "You can marry the girl you fall in love with, because you are not his son and he does not know that."
This is the way they live in that society, and comparing to which, our societies are paradise. You might say that a million problems there are in our home countries, so how come they are like paradise? They are like paradise because you know for sure that these daughter and son are your biological children, so you do not have to worry about that. Besides, love hovers above our households; there are affection, domestic coherence and loyalty. I know close to hundred stories in Syria about fathers who sold their houses, which used to be in the most expensive neighborhoods in Damascus, and bought a house in the suburb in order to help his sons getting houses of their own.
One of our brothers was in a mission in Paris, and while he was walking, he found a disoriented young man standing by the Seine River. He asked him, "You are distrait. What is the matter?" He answered, "I am thinking of killing my father." The man asked, "Why?" The young man said, "I loved a very beautiful young girl, but my father fell in love with her, and now she is his girlfriend." It occurred to my mind that in Syria the father may sell his house in the city in order to buy houses for his sons in the suburb to settle down and get married.
Positive matters in Islamic states are so many:
There are so many positive matters in our countries, but we always beat up ourselves.
I asked a person once when I was in America, "How much is the percentage of infidelity in this long street?" He answered, "About 70%". In our countries this percentage is barely 1% and less. We get used to the positive matters we have in our countries to such an extent that we overlook them.
Cheating is not something one can take lightly. The problems in their countries are complicated, and I realized this fact upon visiting America 5 or 6 times, but to the eye their countries are like paradise. If we use our mind, we will realize that it is Hellfire as the one might lose his children.
Dear noble brothers, if the price of immigrating to the west is losing your children, then do not do it. You may go there for a while and buy a house to live in, which is fine as long as your children are little. Yet, it is a serious problem to do that if your children are young.
A friend of ours took his mother to the west to visit his brother. At the airport, the mother saw her granddaughter holding hands with a young man, so she asked who that man was, to which the granddaughter answered, "He is my boyfriend." The shock was too much for the grandmother, so she died on the spot. We do not have this concept in our Islamic culture, for a woman should be with her husband not her boyfriend.
If we look closer to our countries, we will find endless positive matters only Allah knows about. Indeed, you might lead rough life, and your house might be very small, but there is affection in households. You know for sure that your children are your biological ones, unlike the situation in the western countries. Nevertheless, I cannot generalize, for you may find 3 or 5 percent of immigrants who never went down that road, and it is a very small percentage.
The entire west takes the side of the woman (even if she is wrong). As I have mentioned before, in Australia most of the domestic problems come from giving women high salaries, so women find themselves in no need to look after their husbands, and this is the way there whether you like it or not.
Allah elevates dutifulness to parents to the same level of worshiping Him:
What is the meaning of the following Ayah?
﴾ And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy. ﴿
This Ayah instructs the children to respect their parents. Some highly educated daughters might describe their mothers as "old fashion", which is wrong to be said to your mother who has brought you up and looked after you. Your parents did you a favor.
When you use a coordinating conjunction, you usually use it to connect two things that are parallel to each other, so you do not say, "I bought a house and a spoon", but why is that? Because a house and a spoon are not parallel to one another. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. ﴿
Allah the Almighty through this Ayah elevates being dutiful to parents to the level of worshiping Him:
(( Let the person who is undutiful to his parents does whatever he wishes as he will never be admitted to Al-Jannah (Paradise). ))
In our countries, the mother is highly respected, and so is the father. I served my mother for 9 years, and due to that dutifulness, Allah treated me generously. Your mother is the reason of your existence. The more people are drifted away from the religion, the more undutiful they become towards their parents, whereas the more you stick to your religion, the more coherence you will get in your household.
Objectivity is a scientific and moral value:
Think about the positive matters we have in our countries, which are so many, but we belittle and beat up ourselves. Indeed, we have corruption in our countries and bribing spreads everywhere. If we keep mentioning these negatives in our assemblies, we will fell in despair, because in these assemblies all the attendants focus on their problems. Suppose that each one of them has five problems, you walk out of this assembly with no hope in the horizon. This should not be the case. You should take one example out of thousand examples, and if this example is miserable, the rest of the thousand have happiness in their households. If you take one hundred households, you will find happiness, affection and love in them.
Once, I was in an assembly where a judge was there, and he mentioned a case to us and then followed that by saying, "This prevails in our country" to which I said, "No, this does not prevail in the country, but since you are a judge, you always have cases of people with problems". If a physician talks, he will discuss the intractable diseases and will give you the impression that all people have cancer which is not true, and so forth.
We should be objective upon hearing stories of that kind. Being objective is a moral and scientific value, and when you are objective, you think in a scientific and ethical manner. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And there are, certainly, among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians). ﴿
Allah the Almighty says, "Among the people of the Scripture", and He does not generalize (this is the essence of objectivity). I was once attending a defense of doctoral thesis at a university in Lebanon, where I studied and had my master degree, and the dean was French in origin, but he speaks Arabic. During the defense, the student said something and generalized, so the dean stopped him and said, "Generalization reflects benightedness". This statement was carved in my bones. Do not generalize and never say: The people of this country are all bad". Instead, you may say, "Some of them are bad". Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And there are, certainly, among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians). ﴿
Allah the Almighty never generalizes. When you talk about merchants, do not generalize, or when you talk about any career, do not generalize, but say some of them are so and so. Be objective, because objectiveness is a scientific and ethical value. May Allah the Almighty give us the wisdom to be right and get us to know Him before it is too late.
Man's heroism lies in believing at the right time:
Keep in mind that the fiercest godless man on earth "Pharaoh" said as Allah the Almighty narrates:
﴾ He said: "I believe that La ilaha illa (Huwa): (none has the right to be worshipped but) He," in Whom the Children of Israel believe.﴿
When man is close to death, things become clearer, but this happens at the wrong time. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ The day that some of the Signs of your Lord do come, no good will it do to a person to believe then, if he believed not before, nor earned good (by performing deeds of righteousness) through his Faith. ﴿
Your heroism lies in believing at the right time not when it is too late:
﴾ Now We have removed your covering, ﴿
This covering consisted of whims.
﴾ And sharp is your sight this Day!" ﴿
When it is too late, regret will be insignificant. All the facts presented to mankind by Prophets will be realized by people only when it is too late, so you should believe before it is too late.
